Grief.Loss.Pain.Panic.Death. It’s been everywhere around us very recently. Every day we were getting news of passing over of people. Sudden COVID upsurge in India since end of March has laid a never seen before catastrophe.Virus only exposed our shallow side cause a large part of these miseries are man made disaster. India is a land which has been running on faith and beliefs since centuries but this time was a reminder of the fact that in order to manage such vast population administration must plan and not let faith only deal.
We were hurting. People around were hurting. We wanted to be there..but didn’t know how.. How do you hold space for someone’s grief?
We DIDN’T know what the other person was going through in those moments , but in a way knew it all as these were the days when we could feel the pain of all strangers even.Each bad news from near and far hit equally hard.
Now that mayhem seems to have slowed down, conversations that were halted because one was too fatigued to recount the trauma, are happening once again. Let’s feel it’s reality , face it and remember the lessons.
One fear was always there that once the dust settles down, possibly, it will be more dark and more from the contact list will be gone.It is indeed frightening to see how many friends and acquaintances have been afflicted and in such scary magnitudes! The scarrings are lifetime and people will take a lot of time to heal and rehabilitate.
After the initial shock come the black moods. The inexplicable panic attacks and the constant fear are common. The understanding that you aren’t superhuman,takes a while for the dullish brain to process. Difficult as it may sound but embracing and acknowledging that you are going through a dark phase is imperative to quicker recovery. Acceptance and bow down to nature and it’s due course is the key. Let’s humbly admit our mistakes and understand the lesson nature is trying to convey. Development cannot be for only one species and sooner the better we understand this.
Next is the rage at the futility and a tiny bit of anger at self for succumbing so easily to the disease.
The rage at the man-made mess and utterly unnecessary deaths and resulting trauma is unavoidable. But most important is will this rage dull with time? Will we forget everything once the storm subsides and embers die down? Will the guilty go scott-free? Will the brave hearts who died in the line of duty be relegated to numbers in the annals of history? Will gratitude be replaced by self-importance in society for good? Time alone has the answers,but it’s important to have people accountable for the roles they are holding.
Also, easy said than done but self-loathing over precious losses must be nipped in the bud. Life is too short to lead it with heavy burdens and so have an ample amount of self-love for having sustained, having made it through all this. Understand the expansion called life, try to enhance your experience as much as you can. Explore within and outside in the whole wide world for things that are best for one and all.Feeling guilty for going through it should be a transient emotion because there must be a greater individual purpose in store. It is unto each of us to make that discovery and walk tall.
Though nothing makes sense right now and indulging in future-dreaming seems almost criminal, it is important to paint a futuristic picture, have some doable goals in mind and hang on to them for dear life. That is a lifeline. Because as they say ad nauseam,this too shall pass and tomorrow will come. Find your stream of happiness. You have been through the fire, you owe it yourself!
… keep telling yourself, ‘I’m not going anywhere till old-age kicks me’. Hopefully!
Till the future reveals its secrets, love yourself immensely, heal well, be there for others, remember the valiant dead and also the ones who unleashed this untold pain on the innocent.They should be least forgotten
Show big heartfelt gratitude to all those who have made a difference to others by their selfless attitude, by being pillars of strength.They make this world much better….we know world has always been a better place, we need to ensure this time that we get better for this beautiful world.
Lastly,As brave it may sound… this is just mix of random thoughts and the plan in mind to face our near and dear ones who lost precious ones.We are yet to meet them in person ……Can not be in a hurry to get people back to being strong and look on the brighter side. That is NOT what they want to hear..they have to work through their pain and grief..
So just ask them how things are.. and listen without interruption…
Your presence is what matters…..